May 27, 2009

You Are a Celebrity – Really??

People get really nervous and shifty around me these days because they think that I will blog about them. I have repeatedly assured them that I have never written about them. I have never revealed their identities and yet they all have these terrible guilt trips about things I have written. I want to put an end to all controversies once and for all, I will surely blog about people who are interesting and you are interesting. Why do I write about you? Because I consider it to be my own special private mission to bring fame to the fameless, to bring glory to the ordinary, to give them their 15 seconds of fame and anonymity together.  I write about you because I want to make you the celebrity that you were born to be. Plus all kinds of publicity is good, so come on, be a sport. This comes from Rica's blog– It is better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. So I accept this task with a lot of humility and I take it very very seriously. I care about you. I really do and that’s why I want to share with the world in my own little way how very special you are. I want to publicize your special quirks, your funny habits, your wicked ways and basically how amazing it is to be involved with such entertaining people. You are the people that make my ultra boring life so entertaining and exciting. 

It’s time to share those strong opinions and ridiculous ideas. I think that most of the famous people, the celebrities, stars, actors, dance show winners, politicians are all over hyped. They are worse than the worst. They are focking hypocrites who lead double lives with no shame or guilt; they have terrible double standards and are the lowliest of low lives ever to walk planet earth. Why? Everything about them is a lie, the way they look – Seriously, If I have 12 people working on my look every day, the clothes, make-up, body, hair, I am totally sure that I would kick their asses in that department. Go visit this site and look at it carefully, you’ll totally be on board with me – I love this site, I go on an uncontrollable ego trip after I visit this site, they show the celebrities with their bad hair, facial hair, side boobs and the likes. Oh, they have a special section which is called ‘boobs today gone tomorrow’. Our superstars get their noses fixed, eyes fixed, bodies fixed and everything else fixed to look as beautiful and unreal as they do on screen. So, we successfully determine that they look fake.

Their lives, their very public private lives, the sagas of so called love, sex, steam and dream are wide open for us to see. There is one class of the society that has benefitted immensely from this, they owe their little bundles of money and happiness to the celebrities – these are the paparazzi, the gossip columnists, 24 hour news channels and the likes. There are so many stories out there about our dear beloved celebrities and public personalities we don’t know what to believe anymore. There is little or no truth in the apologies and the scandals, we can dig into every scandal and find a minimum of ten theories about what exactly happened. Each of these theories is nastier than the other and the sad fact is that one of them is true!

With such terrible people as public personalities I have lost all hope in celebrities. I am not an easy believer and I am not at all gullible. I feel like there are better things to do than to talk about our miserable public personalities. Let’s make celebrities out of each other, YOU are interesting with all the funny habits, embarrassing goof ups, imperfections, all put together. The biggest honour to you is that you are one hundred per cent real! You are a celebrity and people should know about you, I take it upon myself to make you famous through my writing. The reason people read this stuff is because it’s interesting, the reason any material is interesting is because the inspiration is interesting. You are my inspiration. You are truly unique and people love to read about you. So I say that instead of being shifty around me, show your true glorified self and give me an opportunity to make a celebrity out of you. Because you’re worth it!


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