Analyzing Men

I have recently picked up a terrible habit of analyzing every man I meet because with women there’s no point analyzing them. Everyone knows even God can’t figure women out!! Hell… I can’t figure myself out. So analyzing men, the more I do this, the more I find differences in men. I am talking about my analysis of the male stereotype. All men will be able to relate to different aspects of my analysis. This includes most men, not all men. They are actually different people and they all do not think alike as we think. It is true that most of them have common interests but every man is endangered specie. The common interests are money, games, drinks and women (read: sex) in that order. They love games any kind of mindless activity that keeps them engaged for hours on end without having to face the reality of life is FUN! Men don’t like conversations… when they are approached with statements like ‘let’s talk’ they hear ‘you’re dead’. They usually like to procrastinate or terminate talks, conversations, and all that. They love money because they think women are attracted to money. Drinks offer another escape!! Why are men the way are? What is the mystery behind their tiny brain?

EUREKA!! I have discovered the secret as to why men are the way they are. I am unfortunately a victim of the same disease and I see the same traits in myself that I see in most men…. Shit!! So this age old mystery revealed is EGO / Self Respect / Pride / Dignity / Etc. The main reason why conversations are avoided are because they point mistakes and the mistakes punch the ego. Men fall in love with women who flatter them, this is big… I have had innumerable personal experiences in this instance. Girls, if you stroke a man’s ego, if you make him feel good about himself, you have got yourself a man who will love you forever. The key to their hearts is through their egos. Most men want a woman who can love them forever (read: Stroke their ego forever). This is the reason men don’t realize what’s going wrong in a long term relationship. They can handle the praise and not the criticism. You have to act extremely sensitive to give criticism to a man; either you’re his boss or God. They will not stand criticism from anyone else; especially from women who don’t know anything because of course the men know everything.

Don’t get me wrong here, I love being with guys, my friends are mostly guys. I think this mentality is good. It’s better than gossiping about your personal life to the whole world and then crying about what people talk about you!! It’s much better than opening your heart completely to strangers and clinging to them for help. It is better than throwing your self respect down the drain and begging someone to take you back. It is better than crying all day for people. I wish I could be completely like the guys… they are completely carefree… or at least they pretend to be… I think the rate at which I am going with the women bashing and insensitivity I will soon become like that. I also have an incredibly enormous ego so I am definitely heading in the right direction.