Oct 15, 2008

Man Gossip

Here I am blogging after an extremely long time. See by now I have a fan following and I feel like I’ve deprived them long enough, so this is my comeback after a sabbatical, read on you will not be disappointed and I feel like I am finally getting the hang of this stuff, so I can’t wait to share ‘Man Gossip’ with you.

Right since I was a little child I remember being told that women gossip a lot and you will grow up to typically gossip a lot. This is my earliest memory, I have a terrible memory and my memory totally fades out before the age of twelve, so I was told this when I was a tiny tot. Now I didn’t really understand the meaning of gossip very well. So I will share with everyone what I found out the Oxford English dictionary defines the word ‘gossip’ as ‘(A.) Unconstrained talk or writing especially about persons or social incidents. (B.) Idle talk.’ So I learned at a young age that women do a lot of idle talk and men are silent, that men will not talk unless required. However, as I grew up this stereotype male and female form became more and more vague. We learn from experiences and I have not had a normal life, not to say that it hasn’t been an exciting journey, in short I got a lot of exposure to the world at a very young age, came to know a lot of good and bad things at a young age. I didn’t turn out so bad though ;) well anyway. While I was developing into a woman, I always thought that I should gossip because women are always expected to gossip. And I did gossip, not because I enjoyed it but because I had that typical woman role model to live up to. I learned that gossiping does not win you friends, does not build long lasting relationships and does not give you that strength of mind and character that we crave so much for. Nevertheless, a little harmless tatter here and there never hurt anyone. But, it did, it hurt a lot of people, things were said that were not meant, minor issues were blown out of proportion, there were some crazily stimulating cat fights, enemies were made, bitching was in its full glory!! Then suddenly wisdom dawned and I gave up, yes I quit gossiping; now this is not as easy as it sounds. It is just as tough as quitting an addiction, if you’ve ever tried to quit smoking, drinking or weed or anything else more advanced you will know exactly what I mean. By the time I decided to quit gossiping it was in my blood already and I didn’t even realize when I started gossiping. So I tried a method of conditioning of the mind, anytime I would find myself close to any kind of gossip I would stop myself and give my words the acid test. So the ultimate acid test of gossip was these two questions – Q1. Will I say this to the person on his face? Q2. Will this talk of mine hurt anyone? After following the acid test I discovered I had very little to say!

Now I know immediately when someone is gossiping. Over the years I have mostly been in male company. This has been good in many ways and has helped me break the stereotypes. This time, the man was gossiping like he was on fire! Most of the men I know gossip. They talk and chatter like no ones business. I have been subjected to their horrific torturous clatter, they say hurtful things, they are rash in their judgment, they blame, abuse, opine aloud, they will also move stories around the corridor. They are the ones that know everything and keep a track of everyone. The guys know who’s dating who, who likes who, who makes how much money, who’s going to the US, who’s going to get married, who’ having marriage problems, who’s getting a raise, who’s getting hired next and who’s getting fired next. They have all the juicy info, with so much of an information download and overload they strut around like the princes of town distributing little bits of extremely sensitive and valuable information to the ignorant and poor masses. To the little women who know nothing. In return for information about everything and everyone else, they seek information from you about you and others and anything you know. This, so that they can distribute it to anyone who cares or doesn’t. In either case they assume everyone cares! Ladies I present to you with utter disdain --- the new age metrosexual man! This is men gossiping at an age when women mature out of gossiping. I find it fun to see men gossip; they will never in their worst nightmares admit to gossiping. The men I know who read this will certainly think, it’s not me she’s talking about. I don’t gossip. I say, boys think again, look back, reflect and ponder about everything you’ve said. How much of it has been about yourself, something constructive, something useful and where have you faltered?

Quite honestly this blog is a result of a series of frustrations from people who have been nosy about my life, who still are nosy and come to me with information I couldn’t care a damn about. Most women I know are not gossips anymore, they grew up, they did this stuff in school and in college and they’re mature now. Guys, we are the inventors of this game, so trust me when I say that everything you ever said about anyone behind their backs to anyone else has reached the person you talked about. Such is the nature of gossip; whatever goes around certainly comes around!! So if you ever bitched about anyone, said anything bad or good about anyone, remember, they know about it and have heard it from at least three people. We don’t know how it is so, but it is so; and so the wise women have left these childish games behind. Don’t you think that it’s time you stopped playing games and grew up to be the MEN you were originally supposed to be??

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