I have a disease and it's incurable... it's going to stay with me for a lifetime and the more I try to delve into it the more it gets worst! The name of this disease is "The Black White Syndrome"; it's extremely rare and dangerous but not at all contagious. It eventually kills, your social life and your circle of friends and your circle of relatives to probably the barest minimum if you're extremely lucky or to none if you're not! I know only 1 or 2 people with this disease, I used to think that this is a good thing when it started out. Now as this poison has spread and started showing the symptoms; I'm starting to think that I'm going to end up most probably psyched. The reason I call it a disease is because other people are fine and it seems to affect only me! Explaining it a little bit is going to be a hope to find a cure or to find the strength to live with it.
Let's start at the beginning, not when there was light but my humble little diseased beginning. The black white syndrome is an addiction that I chose to get into and eventually can't seem to get out of. I personally had a lot of complications and issues in my life with people because of my own hypocrisy and sort of followed the norm and went with it. So when I didn't like somebody; I never made it obvious to them, I never told anyone anything negative or hurtful about themselves on their face (I felt negative and took it out behind people's backs), I gave a very sympathetic ear to a lot of people who came to me with their problems even though i didn't feel an ounce of sympathy for them, I complimented people on stuff I didn't care about just for the heck of it, I tried to keep a lot of people happy at the same time. The result of this was that it seemed to work about 50% of the time and I was miserable the rest of the time. The relationships I had were never really deep or meaningful. Everyone was disposable basically. I definitely wasn't happy and a lot of people I was trying to make happy were actually pretending to be happy. Wow that just got really complex! Basically someone really kind showed me my erroneous ways and introduced me to this black white syndrome. I'm hooked since then, I'm happier but a lot of people aren't happy. I couldn't care less really, this is just me boasting! ;))
Well, what it really is this black white thing is that it's a state of mind. It means you view the world in 2 colors of right or wrong (white or black). It's a very hard thing for others to deal with but makes the diseased persons life a whole lot easier and better. Now if I have a problem with someone or I don't like them - I simple don't speak to them or act enthusiastic towards them. I don't compliment people unless I really feel it. I don't make friends with everyone unless they show some kind of strong trust factor. I put people to the test before trusting them information or sharing aspects of my life with them. Most people fail the test at some point and I move on; it doesn't matter. I don't see how it should matter so much; there are more than 5 or 6 billion or trillion people in the world and more being born everyday. Why does it matter if I like someone or not? There are new friends to make and new people to explore; no sweat over the ones that didn't work out. It also doesn't mean that they're necessarily bad people or something is wrong with them; it just means they don't fit in your life.
So yeah I'm well adjusted with my disease; it has its advantages and disadvantages. But i love the simplification it adds to my life.... so if you're not affected with the black white syndrome maybe you should consider it. Grey areas are not at all fun and confusion is fucking boring!