Change

I decided to ditch this blog so many times because like a blogging wannabe I went and opened my big mouth and told almost everyone I know about the blog and really that was the worst idea ever. So I'm going to write another anonymous top secret blog. But I wont ditch this one, this is my baby. I feel like I've grown up and grown down with this blog. In the last 2 years a lot has changed in my life and a lot hasn't changed.  The changes are mostly personal, professional, geographical.  I got married to my boyfriend and have a baby now :)) all great things.  I changed jobs that was not such a good thing but it's always very clear in my head that if I have to choose between personal and professional happiness I will always choose personal; you know where the heart beats and all that. I noticed that with these changes a lot of people have changed around me; some friends are more distant, some have come closer, some are no longer friends. Specially with the baby some are sharing some really disturbing birthing details which is in any world seriously grosse. 

What hasn't changed is me, the person.  I have not suddenly become the dreadful mother that only talks about their kid. I am only my baby's mother, not your mother or mother india or mother earth.  I love my baby and his father loves him and he does bring so much joy to our lives and we are blessed. However, its very personal. I know that the world is not interested in my kid, his grandparents are, but not the world.  What hasn't changed is my personality, my look is thankfully back to normal too. My thought process is the same too, maybe better coz im just more open to accepting how much I suck now than ever before. I have gotten older of course; crossing 25 was not easy.... 26 is a hard hitter it kind of puts life in perspective and shakes you up. what is my real acheivement at 26? Considering my goal is to retire from the corporate rung at 35 I dont think im so far away.  Now I want to retire at 40, a lottery may push it up again. God, you listening? Please push back all your world peace plans and shift the focus to this lowly souls' early retirement plans. So me being the same person and all imagine my surprise when people suddenly start acting all strange and weird around me after my marriage and then after the baby.  The shifty eyes, the lack of conversational topics, the rush to run away all confirmed only one thing. Have I become uninteresting? That's not true! I've become more self centered and bitchy but uninteresting is not it.  My optimism has officially gone from mildly annoying to "seriously WTF"!

This is a very Indian concept one among the long list of our cultural flaws that people seriously think their life is over after marriage. When fact is that your life actually begins after marriage, after a kid they announce your funeral never to see your face again. I was trying to understand the reason behind this and I kid you not I know some people have gone completely bonkers after their marriages.  What surprises me the most is how we can give such little importance to world hunger, major wars, tax increases and almost completely focus on some really meaningless little issues that we blow up in our heads.  When i read my diary a couple of days ago I wished I was an ostrich and dug my head somewhere for a couple of years, so embaressing my problems were.  I promised myself not to obsess over petty things and offer any detailed explanations but to quietly smarten up.  Lets see how it works out for me. :)

Despite all the positive changes in my life, I have loads of spunk and more. Whoever is scared that I will bombard them with baby stuff, that is not happening don't worry.  cheesy as it is, the only thing constant in life is change is very true. A true sign of friendship is to embrace change in ourselves and our friends. Life full of twists and turns is amazing and everything always works out for the best, eventually.  Naive much!? Whatever....