Piece of My Soul

The last few times that I read the stuff I wrote earlier has made me cringe. I would like to think that I've become a tad more interesting in the last couple of years. I want to write for myself now - cut the bullshit and just share what I really think. It's so much like therapy - I hear a lot of people everyday and try to absorb a lot. Occupational hazard; but I don't get to express as much. I love the touch and go interactions and keep it as real as I can. I don't understand the lack of emotion, lack of sincerity and I despise these type boring meaningless interactions. 

I don't understand a large part of the world around me and I worry sometimes if something is wrong with me because of this. I create and live in a bubble in my own head. I like to see brightness, positivity, hope and color in the world and people. Despite bad experiences; it may be naive but I still really want to hold on to this - I don't want to kill a part of my personality for the sake of maturity. Vulnerability keeps it real. It's all about people and their feelings. If we all lived in a world where we truly cared for each other and allowed ourselves to feel the full extent of the damage / effect of our words and actions - wouldn't it be much better?  Everyone of us has a story and when I hear so many of these stories I feel a big huge gap in my heart open up and relate to every persons point of view. There is always another side and people really just need someone to believe in them and suggest that it's all headed in the right direction. Keep delivering this message constantly. I'm so fortunate to have a rock solid family / friends around me - who always add this layer of sturdy belief when I'm constantly second guessing everything. Not sure I can function without this. 

Being surrounded by overly intelligent, overly analytical people is draining in energy for me. I have to keep adding surplus of that positivity - reality checks can wait you know. We all have reality checks randomly - just being sensitive, giving some space in your heart and head to someone and trying to figure out their story before being judging about their success / money / position is important in my opinion. Isn't success a phase that will come and go - compassion is the core of what makes us human and not animal. Sad to see many of my good friends have changed to protect themselves and I wish they didn't have to. I don't think I have any right to complain either because I haven't fixed anyone's problem but in my own way sharing a bit of my soul - truly with the people who's lives I tough, keeping it real, keeping it fun, bringing happiness and brightness around me is my way of making a difference today. People are awesome at their core - God help us in holding on to this belief. 

Clearly, I'm not on the way to solving a nuclear crisis or global warming or financial crisis.  :)